I am so happy that I saw my new Doctor!!
I was really worried because my old Doctor had convinced me that I was making a huge mistake by moving surgeries (I know he wanted to see me to talk me around because he has basically got himself into more and more trouble by contradicting himself and stating in writing that he went against the wishes of a psychiatrist regarding my medication *More to come about that later*)
I’m sorry I haven’t written for a while but my stress levels have been insanely high. The night before my appointment I didn’t sleep and by the time it was morning and I had to go for my appointment I was having the type of panic attacks that root me to the floor and I can’t move.
The surgery were very cool about it and let me have an appointment at 11 instead.
Maybe it was fate as my Doctor was great. She had a really awesome name and looked like she was from the middle east but with a strong Glasgow accent. Right away she said “Ok, you seem anxious so we will just sort out your medication right away and then we can talk about as much as you can manage” *My old Doctor had told me that no other Doctors would prescribe my medication!!*
I know this sounds crazy but the atmosphere just seemed nicer there. The surgery has four women Doctors and the waiting room is very calm. They even have a wee couch out on the landing that I sat on. It’s probably for people who are really infectious but I thought “aww how lovely.. a space for anxious people to sit!!” 😀
This was something I had been dreading. My hand was forced really to go find a new doctor because my other one was actually starting to be abusive. The letter he wrote to me was so humiliating and inaccurate and well so patronising. I just didn’t actually want to see him again.
Anyway.. just thought I would let you know my new Doctor seems lovely. You know when you can just tell when someone is kind? The patients seat was even right next to her’s when normally the Doctor sits behind his desk so impersonally. She even actually apologised to me when she was talking loads about ways in which I could get my prescription from the chemist and she was quite close and I freaked out a wee bit and stood up. She had no need to apologise but I felt it showed that she was very self aware and also aware of how I was feeling.
I am so glad I moved Doctors now. It was scary because I had no idea what my new Doctor would be like but it turns out they are 100 x better than my old one. That is one more thing off my mind.
Hope you are all well. xxLisa
ETA- I just want to say that if you are not happy with the way you are being treated by your doctor then get a new one. Doctors work for you and it is your right to find one that suits you and that you like. Change can be scary of course, especially if you have an anxiety disorder but being treated poorly is worse. xx
forcing myself happy 
Finding the right medical professional is extremely important. I had been working with a therapist that came highly recommended, but I just could not talk to him. There was no way I would have been comfortable talking with him about my gender identity. I quit working with him and found a new therapist, and that made all the difference.
And, you don’t have to apologize for not updating regularly. You need to take care of yourself. You are more important than your blog (though I’m glad you update and share your life through it).
-Connie
Thank you Connie ❤
I am so glad that you found a therapist you feel comfortable with. I think a counsellor can have all the qualifications in the world and if you just don't click with them then it doesn't matter.
I went to see a Counselling psychologist once and the first thing she said as I sat down was
"I like you. Do you like me?" ..
I said "I have no idea. I don't know you yet" and then she was silent for about half an hour.
I didn't go back! 😀
My telephone counsellor is really great.. though I do feel maybe there are certain things I don't want to tell her.. I think I would feel the same with anyone though. Maybe when I get to trust her more.
xx
congrats on your new doctor!
Thank you. xx
I’m so happy for you! Your new doctor sounds wonderful. Way to stand up for yourself!
Thank you! 😀
xx
How fantastic!! I went through this myself a couple years ago, and my current doctor (the only one in the world I’ve ever trusted) sounds a lot like your new one 🙂 That’s a great sign, I think!
Yes!! 😀
Thank you Universe!! *Don’t want to speak too soon she may try to kill me or something at my next appointment!* 😉
xxLisa
Thank heavens about the new doctor! Personally I try to stay with homeopathy and for some reason can’t find a good one in the area where I now live. Blasted the last one I went to see. She seemed to act as an agent for a particular brand of medicine. Was cross. I’m a bit worried about your relationship. The last time we heard from you there was a dreadful row. Honestly hope all is well now. Much love.
My relationship has been on and off the same for about 5 years. We both clash a lot. It doesn’t help when I am going through something stressful because it adds more stress on top but we are working through things one way or another.
xx
I think this is lovely. Somehow I had a good feeling about your new doctor, so I’m glad it turned out to be true. 🙂
I’m glad too. I had a good feeling about the whole practice. Everyone seemed to be very warm and smiling and calm.. In my other practice they all seemed miserable and harassed and not person centred at all.
It’s such a relief! 😀
Thanks Jennifer! xx
I am so glad that you found a doctor you feel safe with. It took me several tries before I found mine, but she has been the best.
I’m glad to hear that!!
😀
So glad you got all that sorted out. There is nothing worse than having a doctor that treats you like you don’t know your own body. I had a doctor that treated me like I was an idiot and I still have not found a replacement. I just have been handling it by not seeing anyone which really isn’t a solution.
I have been feeling quite anxious lately and can’t quite figure it out. I think the holidays always make me anxious because I never have enough money to get my kids a good Christmas. They are so sweet and never complain and they always seem so happy with what I can manage to scrape together for them, but I know deep down inside they probably want more than a homemade pair of pajama pants and other homemade gifts. 😦 For once I really wish I could give them something they really wanted. I hope that they know how hard I try. I have that same upset stomach, acid reflux and I also get a tight/sore throat.
Ack! Enough of my sob story. I am sure that is not helping either of us at all. I can’t wait to hear about all the success with your new doctor!! Signing off to go do some deep breathing.
Love ya!
Rebecca
Rebecca
Please talk about how you feel. It doesn’t make me feel bad. I hate that you are suffering but at the same time it’s good to know I am not alone in my own suffering.. if that makes selfish sense.
Your kids won’t remember what toys they didn’t get (Kids get far too much anyway), they will remember that their mum cared enough about them to actually spend the time to make them awesome gifts. These are things you treasure as you get older.. not some generic game that breaks after a month.
You are a great mum and all round awesome person and your kids are so lucky to have you.
I’m sorry your anxiety have been bad. Maybe we can be anxiety buddies.. I get to talk about my anxiety on here and so do you! 😀 Sounds fair?
Keep breathing wonderful woman!!
xxLisa
P.S Xmas stresses me out too.. I am skint this year, so can’t get people the presents I would like to. They will just have to be content with my anxious, sore tum company!! 😀 ….and maybe a box of chocolates or something!
Excellent news! Now you can really start getting the help you need!…..Paula x
Yes. Well the Doctor really is just for medication and some level of security. I feel that my counselling sessions have been great though.. In saying that I think you feel worse before you feel better having to open old wound.. but yes.. I feel positive about moving forward!
Thanks xx
Very pleased for you to hear it, Lisa. 🙂
Thanks Brandon! xx